What hours are available for appointments?
I am currently in
the office Monday through Friday from 1 pm to 9 pm. Please call
about scheduling earlier morning times. Appointments are usually scheduled on the
hour and are about 50 minutes long.
When you work with couples do you meet with both partners together or
do you schedule individual interviews?
I prefer to meet with both
partners together. This is the usual, safest and most effective way to
work. On occasion, I will schedule an individual session if there are
issues that are too sensitive to discuss and explore in a couples meeting.
For example, if couples are working on sexual problems, an individual meeting
to get a sexual history can be helpful. Individual meetings are always
arranged with both partners agreement, and with the understanding that it is
destructive for me to be holding "secrets." The focus would be on
individual issues that can be integrated into the couples work.
Do you give feedback and direction?
Yes. I consider
myself on the active end of the spectrum in terms of my participation in
sessions. I see myself as a facilitator of change and as an educator. I do not embrace the
"medical model," where I am the expert doctor and you are the patient.
Rather, I bring something important to the table as part of a dialogue in
which we work together to find answers and solutions that fit for you, as you
confront life's challenges.
Should we do couples counseling if my partner is unsure about
continuing the relationship?
It can be very helpful to attend
couples counseling even if there is uncertainty about the future of the
relationship. It is common, especially if couples are in crisis, for one or
both partners to have mixed feelings about staying together.
Is there a way to work on the relationship if my partner is unwilling
to attend?
Yes. And you could set a goal of having your
partner participate. I see relationship interaction as a
kind of "dance." If you gain clarity about your end of the equation,
then you can change your "steps." And if you start a new dance that you
think is good for both you and the relationship, and make a good invitation,
many times your partner will come around and join in. This concept in
the psychotherapy field is called "couples therapy with one partner present."
Can I meet you to see how it feels and decide if I am comfortable with
you as a therapist?
Yes. I do charge for the initial visit.
If you decide for any reason that you want to seek other resources, it is part
of my job to help you find them.
What is your theoretical orientation?
This is a question that
is occasionally asked. First let me emphasize that I try to fit the
model to the client, and not vice versa. My intention is to remain
flexible and to find an approach that is right for you. In my couples work
I integrate the major schools of thought - family systems,
cognitive-behavioral, and psychodynamic approaches - with systems theory being
the foundation. I also make use of more recent, cutting-edge approaches
- narrative therapy and solution-focused brief therapy. I tend to focus on the
here-and-now, believing that past conditioning is being worked through when
people make constructive change in the present. However, it can be
important to understand and explore past experience as part of an overall
growth process.
